Recently I received a very insightful email from one of my subscribers in response to an email that I’d sent which mentioned “taking away” rewards from children who contravene the agreements made when establishing behavior contracts. The paraphrased version of the email sent to me by this subscriber, let’s call her Ms X (Hello Ms … Read More
This alternative approach to using a kids reward chart relies not on the principle of earning stickers to achieve a desired reward, but rather on having the end reward in their grasp, and retaining or losing the reward based on how they choose to behave.
However, give it the best shot to make your reward chart work…be positive, committed, and let your kids see this. If you can change YOUR mindset (sometimes only slightly) then you might find that reward charts will give you the fantastic result you were wishing for.
Many argue that handing out kids rewards for either performing tasks that should otherwise be expected, or to get your kids to do something, is tantamount to bribery or even encourages materialism. Others strongly argue that offering rewards for kids to perform certain chores, to stop certain behaviors, or to encourage new and better behaviors, is an effective parenting tool.
Are reward charts fantastic?…Yes! Are they a cure all for all problem behaviors?…No!
Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs and also one of the biggest responsibilities one can have. Being the best parent that we can be, starts with the desire to be the best parent possible.
Positive parenting can be described as raising our children in a positive and supportive family environment, full of positive reinforcement, encouragement and yes, positive discipline. It’s about raising self-sufficient, independent and responsible kids.
Why do most parents notice their child’s bad behavior long before noticing their good behavior? If we can change this up, we can bring about less bad behavior, more good behavior, and a greater level of self esteem in our children.
An important element of successfully using reward charts for children is to have behavior change goals set in place BEFORE the reward chart has started. Find some useful example here.
Using reward charts to encourage behavior change in our children can be highly effective, but what if they stop working? Find out some reasons why and what you can do to get them back on track.
Used correctly a behavior contract acts as a “record” of what both parent and child have agreed to. If your child says “but you said…” pulling out the contract and referring to what actually WAS said can put an end to many arguments.
The important thing to know is that usually aggressive children can be “cured” of their aggressive behaviors, but like all behavior change strategies it requires planning, guidance, example and patience.