Recently I received a very insightful email from one of my subscribers in response to an email that I’d sent which mentioned “taking away” rewards from children who contravene the agreements made when establishing behavior contracts. The paraphrased version of the email sent to me by this subscriber, let’s call her Ms X (Hello Ms … Read More
Parenting: The Job of a Lifetime!
One of the most accurate things that I've ever heard anyone say about parenting is that it is "one huge, incredible roller-coaster!" It really is such an up and down, day-to-day existence that is influenced by everything from TV and popular culture, through to peers and friends, through to financial, health and economic situations. Lets not make any bones about it, parenting is difficult....and incredible.
How can parenting be so wonderful, fantastic, uplifting, rewarding, fun, awe-inspiring, exhilarating....and at the same time so depressing, challenging, crushing, heart-wrenching, overwhelming and difficult?
It's a big and extremely important job, and one where we need all the help we can get. Whether that help comes from family and friends, child health professionals, books or even websites such as Rewardingkids.com, it all counts, right? If we can get it right (or mostly right), I believe we give our children every opportunity to become well-adjusted, valuable members of society.
I've told plenty of people before that parenting is the one of the most important responsibilities one can have, and have more than once been told to not be so "over-dramatic". But think about it, our children grow up to become leaders, workers, teachers, innovators, healers, scientists, parents...and custodians of our planet and our future. And after them, their children. It sounds dramatic but it is how it is. Thinking along these lines can really bring home the importance of good and positive parenting.
Being a better parent starts with the desire to be a better parent. Then follows structure and strategy. I hope you find something of value throughout this website. Good luck.
Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs and also one of the biggest responsibilities one can have. Being the best parent that we can be, starts with the desire to be the best parent possible.
Positive parenting can be described as raising our children in a positive and supportive family environment, full of positive reinforcement, encouragement and yes, positive discipline. It’s about raising self-sufficient, independent and responsible kids.
Why do most parents notice their child’s bad behavior long before noticing their good behavior? If we can change this up, we can bring about less bad behavior, more good behavior, and a greater level of self esteem in our children.
It seems that the use of timeout for disciplining children has become an “in vogue” parenting method, particularly over the last five to ten years. Actually I believe that the timeout method has been with us for much, much longer.
Observational Learning takes place automatically. Good or bad, children will learn from the example they witness, particularly from those closest to them. As a parent, your behavior will be the most influential example your child has, particularly while they are younger. Make it a good, strong and positive example.
The strategy of positive reinforcement is simply to utilize the associations children learn between behaviors and consequences to shape behavior. We provide our children with pleasant consequences for engaging in desired behavior.
It’s useful to think of bribing children as essentially rewarding them for something BEFORE they have delivered. While rewarding children should be based on your child being rewarded AFTER they have met their obligations.
Behavior modification is an easy concept to grasp, but it tends to be much more difficult to actually put the techniques into practice. Examples of behavior modification techniques include timeout, positive reinforcement, modeling, positive discipline and loss of privileges.
Praising children is a very powerful way to validate their efforts and successes. However not all praise is created equal. Often parents can “over” praise, or use praise ineffectively, which in turn can diminish it’s power. Here you will find some useful tips on praising children appropriately and positively.