Rewarding kids can be a contentious issue. Some argue that handing out kids rewards for either performing tasks that should otherwise be expected, or to get your kids to do something, is tantamount to bribery or even encourages materialism. Others (including myself) strongly argue that offering rewards for kids to perform certain chores, to stop certain behaviors, or to encourage new and better behaviors, is an effective parenting tool (of course following established rules, and being appropriate with the kids rewards you offer).

The truth is that both sides of the argument has merit. It’s true that we need to regulate how we reward our children to prevent falling into the realm of “bribery”, as it is also true that offering kids rewards using a structured reward plan, is both effective and ethical.

For those parents who have those very legitimate concerns that rewarding kids can often equate to bribery, and also for those parents whose reward plans such as using reward charts, sometimes pushes into that grey area between bribery and rewarding kids, here are some guides to prevent bribery and prevent the issue of materialism:

Kids Rewards: Practices to Prevent Materialism

• Only hand over the agreed reward after the task has been completed, or the behavior has been followed.

• Choose and offer kids rewards that aren’t materialistic at heart. For example extra story or play time, or a trip to the beach etc.

• Consider using larger kids rewards or more generous rewards for those problems that you know will require a very big effort from your child. This may be a behavior or habit that is very hard to give up or very uncomfortable to carry out. For example thumb sucking, wearing glasses in class despite teasing, or forgoing time with their friends to go to out-of-school tutoring.

• Don’t forget that you should be considered a reward for your kids as well. Your time and attention can be an extremely powerful motivator and one that should never be underestimated, especially for younger children. Offer your time for games, activities, story telling, camping, fishing, picnicking, baking a cake, etc.

Being sensible about the kids rewards you offer, how you administer the reward process, and recognizing that a parents time and attention can be rewarding in and of itself, can help to avoid the slippery slope of materialism and bribery.

This is particularly true for those parents who are still skeptical about the process of handing over anything that could be considered a material reward. For those on this side of the argument, a reward plan will work just as well (some might suggest better) by offering only non-material rewards for kids. Always keep in mind that a well designed reward plan will be flexible enough to allow for all strategies for establishing kids rewards.

Choosing rewards for kids is as important as choosing the behaviors and goals for the reward chart. Involve your child in this process as much as you can, with the understanding that if your child doesn’t like the incentive or reward, then there will be little motivation. Also consider that the more your child is involved in the planning process leading up to the use of the reward chart, then the more “ownership” they will feel, which will give them a greater desire to see it through.

With younger ones you might consider offering them a list of rewards for kids to choose from. Using material rewards is fine, but understand that the use of non-material rewards is just as important, and in fact can be much more of a powerful motivation for our kids. For example an activity with parents can be particularly rewarding for kids (any time spent with parents is much more important to children than we might acknowledge).

The following list of rewards for kids are suggestions only, and is limited only by your imagination. Generally material rewards should be kept small and inexpensive, but there may be times when a child is overcoming such a large hurdle that it may be appropriate to offer larger, more expensive items. Whichever rewards are chosen to use for our kids however, never underestimate how important your time is for your children.

Smaller rewards for kids may be:

• Crayons, paper, pencils, coloring-in books.

• Bag of marbles.

• Small toy such as plastic animals, cars etc.

• Hire a DVD of your child’s choice.

• Special treat in lunchbox.

• Choosing breakfast, dessert etc.

• Special snack after school.

• Visit to the 2 dollar shop.

Special treats at home as rewards:

• Using the telephone.

• Playing dress ups.

• Having a sleepover with a friend.

• Choosing a TV program.

• Making play-dough.

• Making a cake with mum or dad.

• Planting a pot plant.

Special treats outside home:

• Staying with friends or family.

• Trip to the park.

• Picnic.

• Going to the movies.

• Riding bike.

• Visit the zoo.

• Go swimming.

• Visit the duckpond.

• Going to the beach.

Special rewards for kids involving parents:

• Making biscuits or a cake.

• Extra bedtime story.

• Doing puzzle/craft activities.

• Extra playtime with mum or dad.

• Watching favorite TV program with mum or dad.

Another creative way of using the reward system or reward plan is to have a lucky-dip consisting of many activities written on small separate pieces of paper which your child randomly picks, or one of many small items, such as small toys, pencils, bouncing balls, marbles, toy soldiers, hair clips, bubbles etc. A lucky-dip is always a sure-fire way to excite kids.

Whatever we offer as rewards for kids it is important that they motivate our kids, engage them, appropriately reflects their efforts, and are deliverable.