When child behavior experts speak about changing behavior, often they lapse into a philosophical discussion about modifying behavior. At times these discussions, while valuable, can become generalizations about behavior change, rather than discussing the specifics about individualized tools to change behavior.

Many parents that I speak with “get” why behavior modification is important, they understand many of the principles involved, they recognize that there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to go about it, and they can see how positive behavior change can benefit their children and themselves.

Sometimes when parents are searching for a solution for their child’s bad or inappropriate behavior they can get so caught up in the various arguments and counterarguments about parenting methods, techniques and tips that you can almost hear them crying out:

“I just want to know what tools are out there to help me change my child’s behavior?”

Effective tools to help change behavior

Any information and knowledge that can make you a better parent is fantastic, but sometimes parents have heard enough and just want a tangible product or tools for behavior change, that they can start using right away.

The tools and strategies for behavior change that I have used successfully with my children include reward charts, behavior contracts, token economy, sticker charts, lucky dip rewards, and “I Did It!” certificates. While I sell some of these fantastic ready-to-go products on this website, with a bit of creativity, materials and effort you can make your own easily enough. Or you can get some of our great free reward charts here.

You can check out the articles below for further ideas on tools to change behavior.

Behavior modification is an easy concept to grasp, but it tends to be much more difficult to actually put behavior modification techniques into practice. Actually to be more accurate, I should add that it can be much more difficult to effectively put these techniques into action.

For example using the method of timeout as a technique for behavior modification is very easy to implement. ie. a child misbehaves and the parent sends them to their room for 15 minutes. In theory this is correct in that the child has been removed from a situation following bad behavior, and placed in a timeout area for a particular amount of time. In practice however, the effectiveness of this behavior modification technique will be diminished because the timeout has been poorly strategized and implemented (In this example a child’s room is filled with distractions and stimulation’s, and 15 minutes is way too long).

Behavior modification techniques such as timeout, positive discipline, modeling, loss of privileges, positive reinforcement and so on, are only as effective as we allow them to be. Parents need knowledge, consistency, support and patience to make such techniques work effectively. Often this is where the difficulty comes into beginning and maintaining such plans and techniques.

Having the desire to correct bad behavior in a healthy and positive way is a great starting point. The articles below (based on various behavior modification techniques) can hopefully give you some insights and tips to make the process as effective as possible.

However it is that you came to the decision to start using reward charts for your children, rest assured that it can be an effective behavior change tool when used fairly and diligently, and more than likely you come into the reward plan with some behavior change goals in mind.

Maybe you’re at your wits end with a child who refuses to eat, or another who has bedtime issues, or maybe you just want a parenting tool which can help you gently encourage your child toward more appropriate behaviors.

An important element of successfully using reward charts for children is to have behavior change goals set in place BEFORE the reward chart has started. The behavior change that you wish to target when using reward charts might be obvious in the case of a poor eater or a bedtime tyrant, but outside of a few common behavior issues such as these, many of us might be challenged to find a significant number of behavior change goals that can be targeting with a reward chart.

Sometimes you can find inspiration by watching your own child’s bad behavior, or good behavior you wish to encourage, or even by observing the interaction between your child and others, or by recognizing traits in others that you would like your child to follow.

Examples of Behavior Change Goals When Using Reward Charts:

• using manners
• going to bed without hassles at bedtime
• using tissues rather than your sleeve
• sharing with friends
• brushing teeth
• eating all your dinner
• allowing others to go first
• getting dressed quickly
• picking up toys and clothes
• reduce whining
• no more thumb sucking or nail biting
• no arguments at bath-time
• controlling tantrums
• not interrupting when others are speaking
• completing homework on time
• completing chores
• no more fighting with brothers or sisters
• showing kindness to others
• getting ready for school on time
• helping when not asked
• respecting the property of others
• ……….

Of course this list of behavior goals could just about be infinite, and you’ll notice that it includes not only behaviors that you want to get rid of, but also those positive behaviors you want to encourage. The list of behaviors that you come up with for use with your reward charts will be specific to your child, but might include many of the examples given above.

Also if you think back to the reward chart rules, you’ll remember that it’s best to only target one or two behavior change goals at a time, otherwise you run the risk of overwhelming your child and lessening the chances of success with the reward charts.

Creating an environment of positive reinforcement

• There are many ways to acknowledge good/appropriate behaviors such as by using praise and encouragement, or by using behavior management tools such as reward charts, token economies, behavior contracts and certificates.
• Create a positive learning atmosphere around your child. Guide them toward appropriate behaviors by reinforcing their good behaviors. Recognize their efforts. Respond to their attempts.
• Ignore their bad or inappropriate behaviors (remember attention is a powerful motivator for children. If you constantly “tell off” your child you are in effect rewarding them with your attention and it is likely that the unwanted behaviors will continue.)

Why use positive reinforcement?

• Positive reinforcement allows our children to feel good about themselves.
• The strategy of positive reinforcement with children is a valuable, effective, and credentialed method of shaping behavior and is used extensively throughout the specialist childhood services, including mental health, medicine and education.
• Positive reinforcement is an accepted and healthy strategy to shape behavior. You are not relying on physical or verbal punishment for short-term compliance.
• The practice of making our kids feel good about themselves rather than bad about themselves, creates a very powerful foundation for our children’s’ positive self-image. This can follow them through childhood, into adolescence, and into adulthood.
• As a strategy to resolve bad or inappropriate behaviors, positive reinforcement, used consistently, is effective for promoting long-term behavioral change. It is not a quick fix solution, and it is not restricted to just short-term gain.
• Utilizing the approach of positive reinforcement, encourages us to be on the lookout for good behavior. Often we overlook desired behaviors because they are not troublesome, and we respond more often to undesired behaviors. Positive reinforcement allows us parents to “catch” ourselves when we fall into this pattern.