When child behavior experts speak about changing behavior, often they lapse into a philosophical discussion about modifying behavior. At times these discussions, while valuable, can become generalizations about behavior change, rather than discussing the specifics about individualized tools to change behavior.

Many parents that I speak with “get” why behavior modification is important, they understand many of the principles involved, they recognize that there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to go about it, and they can see how positive behavior change can benefit their children and themselves.

Sometimes when parents are searching for a solution for their child’s bad or inappropriate behavior they can get so caught up in the various arguments and counterarguments about parenting methods, techniques and tips that you can almost hear them crying out:

“I just want to know what tools are out there to help me change my child’s behavior?”

Effective tools to help change behavior

Any information and knowledge that can make you a better parent is fantastic, but sometimes parents have heard enough and just want a tangible product or tools for behavior change, that they can start using right away.

The tools and strategies for behavior change that I have used successfully with my children include reward charts, behavior contracts, token economy, sticker charts, lucky dip rewards, and “I Did It!” certificates. While I sell some of these fantastic ready-to-go products on this website, with a bit of creativity, materials and effort you can make your own easily enough. Or you can get some of our great free reward charts here.

You can check out the articles below for further ideas on tools to change behavior.

Reward or discipline your children anywhere…anytime with our specially designed token economy!

Fundamentally a Token Economy is a form of behavior modification whereby tokens are rewarded for appropriate behavior and the tokens may be cashed in for valued rewards.

Just think about it… your child listens well ….. does what they’re told …. acts kindly towards others …… plays well with their brother……. shares their toys … packs up after themselves …. in fact whenever they behave well they earn a token, they collect them, and they get to spend their tokens on valued rewards.

Maybe you are already using a token economy system. Your child does their chores and they earn their pocket money at the end of the week. If we break this token economy down further we can see that there is an expectation on your child, your child fulfils this expectation and then rewarded for doing so. Not so different from the adult world right? We operate in our own token economy – we work, or we keep house, or we choose to be stay-at-home parents. We complete these commitments and we earn money through wages, allowances, advances, benefits or whatever else and the reward is we get to accumulate, spend or donate this money however we choose – in every sense this should be considered a token economy.

Why Using a Token Economy is So Great

• A great way to improve behavior… positively!
• A token economy system can be extremely beneficial to our kids.
• It can help kids focus on improving behavior.
• Using a token economy system gives kids the power to “own” their behavior both good and bad.
• Teaches the importance of delayed gratification.
• Allows kids to be responsible for their behavior.
• A token economy is a great strategy to use with older children, as well as the younger age groups.
• Is a proven effective strategy for parents…
• … and using a token economy is simply great fun!

Using behavior contracts along with a token economy can also be a great guide and focus to both you, as a parent, and your child. These behavior contracts allow us to be very specific about expectations. It can be a great opportunity to sit down together and brainstorm about expected behaviour, unacceptable behaviour, and about what rewards may be on offer. They can be a fantastic way of laying a foundation for the use of a token economy. Behavior contracts require acknowledgment by parent and child (our behavior contracts require a signature by both which can make the behavior contract more “official”). These work well with both older and younger kids.

A token economy is great for us parents as well. It gives us a chance to really watch out for our child’s good behaviour and immediately reward it. I’m a parent and I know how often my children can be annoying, inappropriate, or rude and sometimes I’m so focused on bad behavior that I neglect or don’t even notice their good behavior – their small acts of kindnesses, their sharing, their thoughtfulness or simply their doing as they’re told. By using a token economy we can reward such behavior immediately. We can improve our child’s behavior, manage the tension of the household and most importantly we can help to improve our child’s self-esteem.

If you’ve browsed around our website you might have come across our reward chart rules which in the main also apply to our Star Coins token economy and behavior contracts. The key to using a token economy is to Be Positive, Be Consistent, Be Realistic and Be Fair.

If you use your imagination there are many ways that you can implement a token economy. You can make your own tokens, or tickets, or you can even cut out paper shapes to hand out. You can also make your own behavior contracts. Of course here at RewardingKids.com we have our very own Star Coins token economy for sale.

We have designed and developed our token economy to be great quality, durable, fun and plentiful (130 quality, plastic tokens can go a long way!)

RewardingKids Token Economy System

Fundamentally reward charts (or behavior charts) are tools for behavior management or behavior modification whereby a child is awarded stickers or other rewards for behaving well. This is a process of positive reinforcement and can be a very powerful tool in changing behavior. Reward charts won’t magically fix all bad behavior or make our children suddenly start behaving well, but think of it as adding a powerful weapon to your parenting arsenal.

Reward charts for children can help to:

• encourage new behaviors or habits
• change or shape behavior
• stop bad or inappropriate behavior
• improve existing behaviors
• change habits
• introduce healthy habits
• set goals
• …and so on.

Why our reward charts are unique and so powerfully effective

• Our reward charts come in a variety of different themes suitable for boys and girls of most ages up to the pre-teen adolescent (different strategies may need to be considered for the older children such as a token economy and behavior contracts).

• Your children can write their name on the behavior chart, and in the case of the 20 stickers charts they have a special space to write what they’re working on (the behavior or task), also their bronze reward, their silver reward and their “big” gold reward. We believe this really gives a sense of “ownership” over the rewards chart, and it offers an on-going incentive or rewards in smaller stages before they reach the ultimate goal of the behavior chart.

• Our reward charts for children vary in the number of sticker spaces to be filled, according to the age and development of the child. For example some reward charts need 10 reward stickers to complete, while others need 20 reward stickers. The reward charts are designed so that a child will experience a smaller reward earlier in the use of the chart, before an increased ’stretch’ to reach the ultimate reward. After tasting this early success, children are more likely to concentrate their efforts on reaching the final goal of their rewards chart.

• With the 10 sticker reward chart a child will reach the Silver star after 5 reward stickers and the Gold star after 10 reward stickers. Generally these reward charts are used with toddlers and younger children and the “reward” of gaining a smiley sticker or a star sticker is all that is required. Of course other rewards may be offered on reaching the silver and gold stars, and these could be recorded and stored separately.

• With the 20 sticker reward charts, the child will reach the Bronze star (and a smaller reward) after 5 reward stickers, the Silver star (and another smaller reward) after 10 reward stickers, and the Gold star (and ultimate or “big” reward) after 20 reward stickers.

• We have found through hours and hours of testing and relentless trial and error that the format of our reward charts (smaller reward, leading to smaller reward, leading to larger reward) offers a fantastic chance to maintain a child’s interest in the reward chart. Of course this leads to a greater chance of success for your children.

Using your reward charts successfully

• Our Behavior Charts are designed to have your child be involved in all aspects of using the behavior chart.

• This can include brainstorming for possible rewards (with your guidance and final say of course).

• Discuss with your child (when calm and controlled) possible behavioral goals that may need to be addressed or other such goals (for example, improved homework practices, brushing teeth etc).

• Get your child to write their name, their goal behavior (or task, etc) and their rewards for completing the behavior chart, on the laminate coated reward chart with the marker included in the reward chart pack.

• When your child does what they have committed to (as written on their rewards chart), award them with a sticker to place on the rewards chart. It’s a great visual incentive for your child to see their progress towards their goal reward.

• When your child has filled in all the reward stickers spots on the reward chart, then they can be awarded their reward. They have earned it!

• At this stage the reward charts can be wiped cleaned, the reward stickers removed, and a new reward chart can be started.

• Please consider also that the more involvement children have in the preparation toward the use of the reward charts, the more of a sense of “ownership” your child will have over the reward chart or behavior chart and the process of using it. We have found that this can often be the missing link leading toward the success of using reward charts. (Of course this involvement may be determined by your child’s age and level of development)

Reward charts are not the answer to all of your parental challenges (and shame on anyone who says they will be) but used wisely and well, and coupled with effective praising, they really can offer us parents a proven effective, and very powerful strategy of behavior management. If you choose to buy our reward charts, or if you decide to make your own kids charts, remember the key is always to Be Positive, Be Consistent, Be Realistic and Be Fair. (Check out our reward chart rules)

If you’ve been browsing through my site you would’ve caught onto the importance I believe a well structured reward plan has in shaping behavior. A behavior contract can play a very effective role in any reward plan (along with reward charts and a token economy).

A behavior contract can be be a useful behavior modification tool when other methods aren’t working so well, and it can give your child a sense of being involved in a serious, grown-up process. This can be flattering to many children as it shows them that you are prepared to enter into a negotiation with them, and sign off on your agreement.

Why a Behavior Contract Can Work So Well

• A behavior contract allows your child to negotiate the “terms of the contract”. This is particularly useful for older children.
• The contract spells it out in black-and-what what is expected and what will be awarded.
• It allows your child to feel more in control of their behavior choices.
• The behavior contract can help structure the behavior patterns of your child and gives them a great opportunity for self-management.
• As with any good reward plan, such as using reward charts for children, a behavior contract teaches delayed gratification.
• Because the contract clearly defines what is expected of your children, family tension and arguments over on-going behavioral problems tend to dissipate.

How to Use Behavior Contracts

• Be clear as to your requirements and when they must be met. But remember if your child negotiates reasonable changes, then apply them – that’s the art of negotiation after all, and gives your child the required sense of control.
• Fill out the behavior contract and have both you and your child sign off on it. This act of signing off can really pass on the importance, expectation and “seriousness” of the contract.
• Follow through, be specific, be consistent, be positive, and don’t overwhelm your child with type and number of expected behavior changes. In fact most of the rules regarding reward charts for children will directly apply to using a behavior contract.
• Whatever agreements have been made regarding the adherence to behavior contracts should ALWAYS be followed through.

Examples of Behavior Contract Agreements

• “I will brush my teeth every morning and night” / “We will provide a movie night at the end of every week”
• “I will put all my dirty clothes in the clothes hamper as soon as I change” / “We will allow an extra 10 minutes of playtime before bed”
• “When I feel like hitting my brother, I will walk away to another room until I calm down” / “We will provide your choice of dinner and dessert once a week”
• “I will dress myself in the morning” / “We will provide an extra 5 minutes of story-time when it’s time for bed”
• As you can see these types of agreements are specific and achievable. Of course the behavior you wish to tackle will be specific to your child and family situation.

The beauty of a behavior contract is that they can be easily adapted and used for younger children as well as older children. The examples above would be more suited to younger children but the contracts can be as sophisticated as you would like (or what is appropriate). For example with an older child the agreement might be “I will complete all my school assignments and hand them in on time during this semester” and your response may be “We will provide a PlayStation game of choice at the the end of semester”.

Good luck with your endeavors, and I would love to hear about any of your behavior contract successes.

I think it’s fair to say that most parents would agree that having children be involved with the household chores is an important contribution to make. Not only does it allow for our kids to learn the responsibilities involved in running a household, it allows them to contribute to their fair share of the household chores. It also teaches them the importance of managing their own responsibilities which will hold them in good stead throughout their lives (not to mention the help it gives you! )…..This is where many parents would be saying “I agree, but how do I make my kids help with the chores!” This is where using chore charts for kids can be useful.

Why use chore charts for kids?

• Chore charts can help kids organize our kids duties and responsibilities.
• A chore chart is a great visual guide for what needs to be carried out.
• Your child can follow along with the requirements of what’s set out on the chore chart, rather than constantly seeking out your instruction.
• It can be a creative and engaging way to motivate your children.
• A strategically placed chore chart can act as a helpful “reminder” for our kids.
• A chores chart can be a useful tool in providing structure and order.

Sometimes starting with chore charts for kids can be challenging. Many kids will refuse to “tow the line” so to speak, and will disregard the charts. In fact often this may be the first reaction when you introduce a chore chart. The truth is that any behavior change or introducing an added responsibility can be challenging for many children. This is where it’s most important for you to be positive and consistent, and to acknowledge that if your kid’s aren’t on board with using the chore charts, then the chore charts are doomed to failure.

As with using reward charts for children, involve your kid’s in the entire process of setting up a chore chart, from brainstorming what chores will be “theirs”, to filling out and maintaining the chore chart, to what will be on offer as rewards for your kids if they stick to their responsibilities. Or if you don’t agree with rewarding kid’s for doing expected household chores, that fine too. Many parents find that offering their support and encouragement can also be a strong motivator, especially for younger children.

When introducing chore charts for kids, seeking out your child’s help and participation can create a strong desire for them to be involved with using the chore chart.

However it is that you came to the decision to start using reward charts for your children, rest assured that it can be an effective behavior change tool when used fairly and diligently, and more than likely you come into the reward plan with some behavior change goals in mind.

Maybe you’re at your wits end with a child who refuses to eat, or another who has bedtime issues, or maybe you just want a parenting tool which can help you gently encourage your child toward more appropriate behaviors.

An important element of successfully using reward charts for children is to have behavior change goals set in place BEFORE the reward chart has started. The behavior change that you wish to target when using reward charts might be obvious in the case of a poor eater or a bedtime tyrant, but outside of a few common behavior issues such as these, many of us might be challenged to find a significant number of behavior change goals that can be targeting with a reward chart.

Sometimes you can find inspiration by watching your own child’s bad behavior, or good behavior you wish to encourage, or even by observing the interaction between your child and others, or by recognizing traits in others that you would like your child to follow.

Examples of Behavior Change Goals When Using Reward Charts:

• using manners
• going to bed without hassles at bedtime
• using tissues rather than your sleeve
• sharing with friends
• brushing teeth
• eating all your dinner
• allowing others to go first
• getting dressed quickly
• picking up toys and clothes
• reduce whining
• no more thumb sucking or nail biting
• no arguments at bath-time
• controlling tantrums
• not interrupting when others are speaking
• completing homework on time
• completing chores
• no more fighting with brothers or sisters
• showing kindness to others
• getting ready for school on time
• helping when not asked
• respecting the property of others
• ……….

Of course this list of behavior goals could just about be infinite, and you’ll notice that it includes not only behaviors that you want to get rid of, but also those positive behaviors you want to encourage. The list of behaviors that you come up with for use with your reward charts will be specific to your child, but might include many of the examples given above.

Also if you think back to the reward chart rules, you’ll remember that it’s best to only target one or two behavior change goals at a time, otherwise you run the risk of overwhelming your child and lessening the chances of success with the reward charts.

Firstly lets look at some of the reason why the reward charts might not be working or why they might be loosing their effectiveness.

Why the Reward Charts Might Not be Working

• Your child might simply be too young to start with such a reward plan: Using a reward chart requires your child to have a handle on a few fundamentals such as patience, the difference between “now” and “later”, self control, and delaying their gratification. When these things are lacking the effectiveness of the reward chart will be limited.

• The reward isn’t enticing enough: The kick-start to the reward chart is the motivation your child has in wanting to complete the behavior chart. Of course the main aim of a reward chart is to tap into your child’s “inner motivation”, but that’s a developing process. To effectively start and maintain a reward plan your child needs to desire the reward.

• The behavior is too hard for your child to change at the moment: Sometimes your behavior change expectations are too high. Your child might be too young, they might be affected by other things happening in their life (starting school, new baby in the house, divorce etc), or other tensions in the house which may be preventing the reward chart working to it’s full effect. Dealing with these underlying feeling first will help the reward plan. Sometimes setting the bar a little lower might also be considered.

• Not everyone is consistent with the reward plan: Could it be that other adults and care-givers in your child’s life aren’t completely on the same page when it come to administering the rewards chart? If you’re being consistent with your expectations, praise, and rewarding but some other significant adult isn’t, then the full effect of using reward charts will not be realized.

• You’re trying to stop or change behaviors that others are performing: It’s unlikely that you child will stick with the reward plan for very long if others are doing what they’re meant to stop. For example are they expected to stop hitting if their older sibling hits, or do they stop using inappropriate language if Dad let’s a few expletives slip around them?

• Your child is attached to your response to their bad behavior: This can be a tough concept to grasp, but often a child becomes attached to negative attention. It can easily become their “pay-off”. It stems from the concept that any attention given from a parent is an extremely powerful motivator.

• Your child’s personality might be a factor: Some kids hate the feeling of being “controlled”, and might consider a reward plan an attempt to control them. It’s true that using reward charts are in some ways an attempt of controlling our kids – for example “if you stop doing that then I’ll give you this”. The trick is to enhance your child’s Independence throughout the whole process. Put the control firmly back in their hands, then it becomes “their” decision to stick with the reward plan and reap the benefits.

Our next article will deal with ways of troubleshooting the reward charts when they don’t appear to be working and providing some example of how to get them back on track.

In those situations it’s easy for us to “second-guess” ourselves when our children start with “but you said…” Usually this confrontation will either end up in us giving in to our child or having an argument with our child about what we may or may not have said!…This is where a well thought out Behavior Contract may come in handy.

Bring on the Behavior Contract

When a behavior contract is implemented a set of expected behaviors or goals are clearly stated, along with any associated rewards. As soon as you hear the words “but you said…” you can simply pull out the contract and refer to it together (avoiding the smugness you may feel ).

An example that may sound familiar to many might go something like this:

“..but you said if I do my homework tonight we can have take-out” and when you both refer to the behavior contract it might actually state “if you do your homework every night this week, we can have take-out on the week-end”.

Hopefully this is where the argument will end. Especially if you both initially set up the behavior contract with a good spirit and intent. You’ve both signed off on the particulars of the contract, you both are willing to hold each other to their obligations of the contract, and you’ve taken the effort to make the whole process of setting up the behavior contract feel “important”.

Sure your child might become sullen when you pull out the contract and show where they’re wrong in their assertion “but you said…”, but if you do it without the “I told you so” attitude and maybe with some gentle encouragement, they will soon stop.

After all you’ve entrusted them with the responsibility of formulating, negotiating and signing an “official” document. In those moments where arguments are brewing, remind your children of this, remind them of their reward, and offer them your positive encouragement.

By treating similar situations in such a way, using a behavior contract really can reduce arguments.

Although we sell great reward chart packages and a fantastic reward coins token economy on this website, with a good imagination, and the material and effort to make it, almost anyone can put together a good reward plan.

Here are some steps that are useful to follow:

1. Work Out What Behavior Problem To Tackle

• You may want to work on changing many behavioral problems but the best chance of success lies in your choosing one or two at a time.

• It’s important not to overwhelm your child, and it’s always helpful if your child recognizes the troublesome behavior.

• Be specific with the behaviors you want to target. a “tidy room” may mean different things to you and your child. “toys off the floor, bed made, tidy desk, and clothes in the hamper” are specific and clear targets for both parties.

• Make the reward plan easily achievable to start with. For example keeping a tidy room may start with rewarding the act of putting shoes away, or straitening bed covers. This gives your child a taste of success, builds their confidence in the reward plan, and makes success more likely. Also remember that while delayed gratification is an important lesson to learn, this ability takes time for children to develop, particularly with younger children – in other words don’t make it too long before they reach their goal.

2. Select a Reward Plan (Reward Charts or Tokens) and the Reward On Offer

• Pick a reward chart theme that matches your child’s personality and interests (this will help with their motivation). Most times children appreciate being a part of this process. Also the number of sticker spots on a reward chart might relate to your child’s age or stage of development (for example our reward charts come in 10 or 20 sticker spot versions).

• Many children (especially older children) will respond better to token or tickets (more on token economy system here).
• Choose rewards that will interest and motivate your children. It can be very useful to involve your children during this process, or even to provide a list of rewards on offer for your child to choose from (what rewards to offer), however it’s important to keep control here. Don’t give in to outlandish requests, or offer rewards in moments of desperation.

3. Introduce The Reward Plan With Your Children

• While it’s fair to say that generally young kids accept a reward plan easily, often older kids can be a bit more difficult (..maybe I should use the world “worldly” here ) In these cases involve your children in the process. Give them the chance to negotiate (if appropriate), and let them know that it’s a joint effort, it’s not just you in control of this ship.

4. Follow Through With the Reward Plan

• Be consistent and stick with the spirit of the reward plan. If your child agreed to brush their teeth every night before bed, then hold them to it. If they refuse, offer them your sympathies that they won’t be earning a sticker or token, and remind them they will have another chance to earn the sticker tomorrow night. Often their refusal will be their way of “testing” the integrity of the reward plan, and to check how serious you’re taking it. If that’s the message they’re getting, then they will move forward.
• Even when you’re feeling particularly worn out and tired, and your children are especially grumpy, try to stick with the plan.
• If you’re being worn down or your child is loosing motivation, try not to just stop the reward plan halfway through. Use the “hump” as an opportunity to sit down with your child and talk with them. Maybe there’s other issues holding them back. Being honest and upfront can be a great way to connect with your child, reconnect with the reward plan, to re-establish the goals, and to get back to it.
• Always keep in mind that a reward plan should be a positive experience. Avoid fighting with your children over the plan, don’t belittle or efforts, or tell them off for failing to earn a sticker or token. As hard as it might be try and keep your frustrations away from the reward plan. Finding other avenues to vent can be useful (I hear boxercise can be fantastic for this )

5. Ending the Reward Plan

• Recognizing their effort in completing the reward plan is fitting, and often all that is required. A “well done!”, “I’m proud of you!”, or “good for you!” comment can really go a long way. As a part of our reward charts package we offer a number of “I did it!” certificates that your child can collect, put on the wall or in a scrapbook, and reflect on their efforts. Or making your own certificates is easy and can really “round out” the reward plan.
• You should also be delivering the earned reward as promptly as possible – your child has earned it.
• Avoid using the earned reward as leverage for future confrontations (for different behaviors). For example if your child has earned a sleepover, game, or extra playtime before bed, then it would be against the spirit of the reward plan to take away that item or reward (as long as they are keeping the targeted behavior in check). If there are more behavior problems to deal with, then start the process again. If their earned reward stays intact, then they will be even more trusting of the process next time around.

However, as a token of our appreciation for your visit to our website, we’d like to offer you a selection of free printable reward chart downloads.

I know at the time, I would’ve appreciated a quality free reward chart, such as the selection below.

These reward charts charts will load as a PDF file, so you will need to have Adobe Acrobat Reader to view and print the charts. If you don’t have Adobe Reader you can get it for free by clicking this Adobe link.

How to download a free reward chart

Simply click on one of the images below, which will open the PDF file, then click “Save a Copy” and choose where you want to save it to. From there you can open and print it as often as you like. It’s yours!

As you can see our free reward charts are quite elaborate and as such may take a while to download (depending on your Internet connection). Please be patient.

Free Reward Chart Selection

*** Handy Hint ***

Once you print your reward chart, you can make it reusable by getting it laminated. When your kids earn the sticker spot, get them to color it in using whiteboard markers. When the reward chart is completed you can wipe it off and start again!